〜Fine Art and Illustration〜
少し先ですが、9月にお仕事の面接を受ける予定です。その仕事は週に1回だけなので、アーティスト活動にはあまり影響しません。アーティストの仕事は不安定なので、定職があるととても助かります。無事に採用されれば幸いです。
It’s a little bit ahead, but I’m going to have a job interview in September. I will only work once a week, so it doesn’t affect my artist work much. Artist work is unstable, so having a regular job is very helpful for me. I would be happy if I was employed smoothly.
5年ほど前に自覚したのですが、私はHSP(Highly Sensitive Person)の特徴を持っています。読んで字の如く繊細で感受性の高い気質を持つ人です。HSP にもタイプが色々あるけど私がどのタイプかはあえて追求してません。この気質によって若い頃は傷つき易く、自己防衛の為に攻撃的な人でした。年を重ねて様々な経験をして些細な事で傷付きにくくなったし人間が丸くなりました笑。精神的にはタフになったけど、身体的に疲れやすいという弱点はあります。これは五感が発達し過ぎて絶えず様々な情報を脳が受け取り処理しているので、脳の疲れが身体疲労として現れるそうです。前の仕事をしている時突然強い睡魔に襲われ居眠りしては上司や同僚に注意されてましたが、私の仕事へのやる気が低いからではなくHSP由来の疲れだったと思います。と言うのも今の仕事はとても楽しくて私はやる気に満ちているけど相変わらず睡魔に襲われるからです。また人と会って余りにも楽しかった時は情報過多で脳が覚醒して睡眠の質が低下します(次の日は一日中眠い)。 私の脳の構造上、一生疲れやすいのだと思います。今まで殆どこの話を公言しなかったのはHSPは私にとって弱点だと思っていたからです。でも私は視覚から得る情報が人より多くて、尚且つ私独自の感性で物事を捉えるからそれを自分唯一無二のアートとして表現出来るのだなと、このほど利点として考え直しました。そして私のアートを気に入ってくれる人々が居る事はとても励みになります。今回の個展での経験で自分独自の感性に誇りを持てました^ ^
About five years ago, I realized that I have the characteristics of HSP (Highly Sensitive Person). As you can read, who is a person with a delicate and highly sensitive temperament. There are various types of HSP, but I don’t dare to check which type I am. When I was younger, by this temperament, I was easy to be hurt, and aggressive in order to protect myself. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve had a lot of different experiences, and I’ve become less easily hurt by trifles, and I’ve become a more soft person lol. Mentally I’ve become tougher, but I have a weak point that I get tired easily physically. Seems that this is because the five senses are overdeveloped and the brain constantly receives and processes various information, so the fatigue of the brain appears as physical fatigue. When I was working at my previous job, I was suddenly attacked by a strong sleepiness and often fell asleep and was warned by my boss and colleagues. I think this wasn’t because my motivation for work was low, but because I was tired due to HSP. Because my current job is so much fun and I’m so motivated, but I still get strong sleepy. Also, when I’m having too much fun meeting people, my brain wakes up due to the overload of information and the quality of my sleep declines (the next day I’m sleepy all day.) Probably I get tired easily for the rest of my life due to the structure of my brain. The reason why I didn’t talk about this publicly until now is because I thought that HSP was my weak point. But i changed my mind that it’s my advantage. That’s because I get more information from my eyes than other people, and I can perceive things with my own unique sensibility, so I can express it as my one and only art. And it’s very encouraging that there are people who like my art. Through my experience at this solo exhibition, I was able to take pride in my unique sensibilities:)
日本から持参した盛り上げ胡粉を使い切ったので画材屋さんで大理石粉を買いました。これはテンペラ等に使われる物で、兎膠と油と併用する事で固化するそうです。日本画用の鹿&牛膠と水でもちゃんと固まりました。良かった。ちなみに日本画の胡粉は貝殻が原料で、大理石粉もどちらも炭酸カルシウムCaCO3です。これからは日本画では岩絵具と金箔銀箔以外はドイツで入手出来る画材を代用していきます。案外試してみると何とかなるものです^ ^
I used up the Gofun powders that I brought from Japan, so I bought marble flour at an art supply store. This is used for tempera, etc., and it seems to solidify when used in combination with rabbit glue and oil. I tried to combine with deer&cow glue and water, it solidified without problem, I was relieved. Both gofun powder which is made from shells, and marble flour are calcium carbonate CaCO3. From now on, in Japanese painting, except for rock paintings and gold leaf and silver leaf, I’ll substitute painting materials available in Germany. If I try it, unexpectedly it will work:)
自分の名前の入った手作りの消しゴム判子を作りました。昨日から2日かけて完成させました。疲れた…こういう作業は没頭してしまいずっと同じ姿勢になるので関節をやられます。判子の出番が早く来ますように^ ^
I made a handmade rubber seal with my name. It took two days to make it from yesterday. I’m tired… This kind of work was so immersive that I was in the same posture all the time, so it hurted my joints. May the opportunity to use this seal come soon.
昨日グループ展が終わりました。月曜も火曜も準備してたので実質的には1日の展示でしたが昨日は沢山の人が来てくれました。良かったです^ ^ここ数日は準備やピアノの練習でバタバタしていてビザの準備やドイツ語の勉強に時間を取れていませんでした。今日から復活！
Yesterday our show was over. Actually it was a only one day show because we’ve been installing works also Monday and Tuesday, but many people came to see yesterday. I enjoyed:) For this couple of days I was really busy preparing for exhibition and practicing the piano, I couldn’t spend the time to prepare for visa and study Germany. From today I resume!
嬉しい事に、今日からドイツは日本人の入国規制を解除するそうです。在ドイツ日本大使館からメールが届きました。これでドイツに戻る計画を立てられます。happy new year!
Fortunately, seems that German government lifted immigration restrictions against Japanese from today. I got an email about that from Japan embassy in Germany before soon. I can make a plan to come back to Germany. Happy new year!